Lake Peigneur : The swirling Vortex of Doom

Okay, so as my summer has dwindled I have found it more and more necessary to find meaningless things to do - most of which are somewhere on the interweb and entertain me for countless hours. But of all of the DAYS of websurfing I have done over the last 3 months, the winner of best time wasting site of the year has to go to DamnInteresting.com, simply a blog of interesting stories that are, in fact, damn interesting. I have spent DAYS here, literally. I have posted my favorite, but there are several that came close (and I have not read them all yet...I must need another summer off). My book is almost done, with about a chapter or two remaining, but it would have been done months ago if not for websites such as DamnInteresting.
So here's to the time wasters!

Written by Alan Bellows on September 28th, 2007 at 9:38 am
From DamnInteresting.com
Please enjoy this classic Damn Interesting article which was originally posted on 06 September 2005.

Early in the morning on November 21, 1980, twelve men decided to abandon their oil drilling rig on the suspicion that it was beginning to collapse beneath them. They had been probing for oil under the floor of Lake Peigneur when their drill suddenly seized up at about 1,230 feet below the muddy surface, and they were unable free it. In their attempts to work the drill loose, which is normally fairly easy at that shallow depth, the men heard a series of loud pops, just before the rig tilted precariously towards the water.
At the time, Lake Peigneur was an unremarkable body of water near New Iberia, Louisiana. Though the freshwater lake covered 1,300 acres of land, it was only eleven feet deep. A small island there was home to a beautiful botanical park, oil wells dotted the landscape, and far beneath the lake were miles of tunnels for the Diamond Crystal salt mine.
Concluding that something had gone terribly wrong, the men on the rig cut the attached barges loose, scrambled off the rig, and moved to the shore about 300 yards away. Shortly after they abandoned the $5 million Texaco drilling platform, the crew watched in amazement as the huge platform and derrick overturned, and disappeared into a lake that was supposed to be shallow. Soon the water around that position began to turn. It was slow at first, but it steadily accelerated until it became a fast-moving whirlpool a quarter of a mile in diameter, with its center directly over the drill site.
As the whirlpool was forming on the surface, Junius Gaddison, an electrician working in the salt mines below, heard a loud, strange noise coming down the corridor. Soon he discovered the sound's source, which was rushing downhill towards him: fuel drums banging together as they were carried along the shaft by a knee-deep stream of muddy water. He quickly called in the alarm, and the mine's lights were flashed three times to signal its immediate evacuation. Many of the 50 miners working that morning, most as deep as 1,500 feet below the surface, saw the evacuation signal and began to run for the 1,300 foot level, where they could catch an elevator to the surface. However, when they reached the third level, they were blocked by deep water.
Clearly, the salt dome which contained the mine had been penetrated by the drill crew on the lake. Texaco, who had ordered the oil probe, was aware of the salt mine's presence and had planned accordingly; but somewhere a miscalculation had been made, which placed the drill site directly above one of the salt mine's 80-foot-high, 50-foot-wide upper shafts. As the freshwater poured in through the original 14-inch-wide hole, it quickly dissolved the salt away, making the hole grow bigger by the second. The water pouring into the mine also dissolved the huge salt pillars which supported the ceilings, and the shafts began to collapse.
As most of the miners headed for the surface, a maintenance foreman named Randy LaSalle drove around to the remote areas of the mine which hadn't seen the evacuation signal, and warned the miners there to evacuate. The miners whose escape was slowed by water on the third level used mine carts and diesel powered vehicles to make their way up to the 1,300 foot level, where they each waited their turn to ride the slow, 8-person elevator to the surface as the mine below them filled with water. Although it seemed to take forever to get out, all 50 miners managed to escape with their lives.
Meanwhile, up on the surface, the tremendous sucking power of the whirlpool was causing violent destruction. It swallowed another nearby drilling platform whole, as well as a barge loading dock, 70 acres of soil from Jefferson Island, trucks, trees, structures, and a parking lot. The sucking force was so strong that it reversed the flow of a 12-mile-long canal which led out to the Gulf of Mexico, and dragged 11 barges from that canal into the swirling vortex, where they disappeared into the flooded mines below. It also overtook a manned tug on the canal, which struggled against the current for as long as possible before the crew had to leap off onto the canal bank and watch as the lake consumed their boat.
After three hours, the lake was drained of its 3.5 billion gallons of water. The water from the canal, now flowing in from the Gulf of Mexico, formed a 150-foot waterfall into the crater where the lake had been, filling it with salty ocean water. As the canal refilled the crater over the next two days, nine of the sunken barges popped back to the surface like corks, though the drilling rigs and tug were left entombed in the ruined salt mine.
Despite the enormous destruction of property, no human life was lost in this disaster, nor were there any serious injuries. Within two days, what had previously been an eleven-foot-deep freshwater body was replaced with a 1,300-foot-deep saltwater lake. The lake's biology was changed drastically, and it became home to many species of plants and fish which had not been there previously.
Of course numerous lawsuits were filed, and they were subsequently settled out-of-court for many millions of dollars. The owners of the Crystal Diamond salt mine received a combined $45 million in damages from Texaco and the oil drilling company, and got out of the salt mining business for good.
No official blame for the miscalculation was ever decided, because all of the evidence was sucked down the drain, but the story described here is the generally accepted theory of what caused this massive disaster.

Family Idol

In case you didn't know, somebody in the family tried out for the famous reality show. They shall remain nameless, because if you are in the club, you already know the outcome, and if you are not, well, due to a confidentiality agreement that yours truly signed, you will get to know some time around January or February when season 8 airs...or the person that tried out gets in lawyer trouble. But I do have a semi related story that should be known.
When waiting for the audition, there was a girl there that was, what would probably be considered "special needs" by most people. She sat right next to our own auditioner (is that a word?) and clapped off time, sang out of key, forgot her words, but was all in it for the big victory and really whooped and hollered her head off at all times. She threw everyone around her off, and distracted us all, for hours and hours and hours.
Your contestant was right next to her. But when I asked if the contestant wanted to trade me seats, or try to move elsewhere, the contestant said no. The woman (otherwise known as the distractor) forgot lines to the songs she had prepared, and every time she spoke to our contestant, she spit on her accidentally as she spoke. Our contestant took it all with a grain of salt and kept her cool. It was only a matter of time before somebody arond us blew their top and said something to her. (namely, me, as protector and notarized guardian of the contestant). She screamed too loud, and basically was just getting on everyones nerves in the whole area.
The song that the lady was going to audition with was "Bye Bye Bye" by N'Sync. and she kept having trouble with it, as evidenced by her frequent cell phone calls to somebody that was helping her from home. The distractor was all alone with thousands of people that probably didn't like her.
Our contestant, nervous about the songs she had chosen herself, and trying to practice on her own, then stopped what she was doing and took the time to coach the distractor by giving examples of lines (our contestant knew all the N'Sync song) and singing with her until she was more comfortable with the lines and could do them again on her own. And this is why, winner or not in the reality show, our contestant is a winner in the family and in life in general. I wish you were all there to see it. Aside from my wedding day, I've never been more proud, seriously.

Mamma Mia! What a show!

Continuing on our movies-are-the-only-thing-to-do-when-it's-1000 degrees-outside activities, We went to see Mamma Mia...and before I begin, allow me to say that yes, I WILL be giving some of the story away in case you have not seen it. I usually do not, but this time I will. So stop reading if you do not know the story...

I've seen the play, twice, and both times were generally enjoyable to me, even though I am not by most standards, a "chick", which is whom the entire thing - the music, the story line, the costumes, the dialogue, the setting, etc... are for (dot dot dot). and after seeing the movie, all I can say is that, it must be genuinely difficult to write something for film that has been on stage. The whole thing felt squirrelly as a film, and I can't pinpoint exactly what it was (nor can the Lester). But, some of the critical aspects are as follows:

Casting was far and away the worst thing about the film: The big money stars, Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan, were both miscast, and it would have played better with relative unknowns for the whole movie, not just all but the two (I know, the groom to be is an up-and-comer, but he's not at the level of Meryl and Pierce, yet). Meryl holds her own in the acting and singing, but I still don't feel that she was cast right as the hippie of yesteryear holding down an inn at an out of the way foreign port. She doesn't fit the part of the girl-group singer, either. She does do an amicable job of singing, though, unlike her male counterpart. The pair of old friends that used to be her singing group are a little less than believable, as well. A horse-faced broad that is supposed to have ample plastic surgeries (not enough?), and a dwarfy little troll thing that is actually quite good in her part.

Pierce is just simply out of place and is only cast in an effort to draw boomer ladies into the theatre that ogle over him even as he grows older. He looks like he's in pain or at least constipated as he sings like a dying yak. They should have voiced over his singing parts. It is most distracting, and by the end you are praying that he doesn't get any more singing parts because he sucks like nobody has sucked before in a musical, singing, acting, delivery of lines, all infinitely horrible. Usually I like the guy... (dot dot dot).

And the (somewhat) unknown bride to be, I feel, is not really up to the standards of one of the main stars of the show. Simply put, she looks funny. She has these wall-eyes that just look wonky, and for it to be that one of the men she invites to her wedding is her father, well, I think not. She has the looks of some half-alien, downs syndrome thing that none of the men, nor Meryl, possess. this leads me to believe that mom (Meryl) must have gotten busy with yet another man, or alien, at about the same time. that would have changed the movie for the better...(dot dot dot).

So aside from horrible casting, everything else suffered a little too, I suspect because of the change in formats from stage to film. Dialogue and character development may as well have been on-stage, and the story line only differed by the slightest margin dealing with setting - there had to be cameras set up for differing scenery, so the very nature of the go-stop-go-stop of filming made it seem like the whole story was go-stop-go-stop as well. It could have benefited from radical changes in dialogue, or tweaks to the story line, otherwise, why bother with making it a movie? There just didn't seem to be enough change for it to be successful. Is this for the people that are too afraid to go to a live-action theatre to see it? Or the I don't want to dress up type?I can't help but thinking setting up a single camera in the orchestra pit of a Broadway theatre and filming the whole thing there would have been better received by everyone, and it sure would have saved a lot of cash on Brosnan.

1 of 5 Toes. Success with the formula was solid. This film resides in a wheelchair.

The Dark Knight

Here's one that is still in the theatres. Lester and I felt so ripped off by the latest Indiana Jones farce, we decided to double-or nothing our theatre movie money and try another sequel.
I am not a lover of sequels - it can be the best movie in the world, but after the original comes out, it loses all of it's suprise so therefore it loses the magic that it created when sequels come out.
So we went down to Larry's place in Sandy (Jordan Commons, 'cause we know that guy...) in the heat of the day, on friggin Monday afternoon specifically to see it in the IMAX presentation form (It is the first major motion picture to have sequences shot on the IMAX system (very pricey) blended with the standard 35mm format, so I thought that would be nice to see the way it was handled.) By the time we got there, there were plenty of seats left - as long as we sat in the front row or didn't sit together. Who in the hell goes to movies at 12:30 on a Monday afternoon? - apparently half of the town of Sandy, which leads me on my next tirade which is my general dislike for Sandy, or what I've come to call, "Provo North", but that is content for another post... So we ended up catching another showing 15 minutes later. Here's the part where I smash it to pieces:
The film RULED ALL OTHER SEQUELS BEFORE IT! Until the last half hour. The show is 2 hours and 36 minutes long, but it goes by fast because it has a very large and mighty little toe (entertainment value), once again until the last half hour where it goes off on a glaringly apparent political tangent that I have yet to completely decipher. I must admit thatI dearly loved Batman Begins, specifically Christian Bale as the man o bats. This one was no different, except it had Ledger to counterbalance his coolness. Dead or not, I would not hesitate to blast an actor on their work, but Heath Ledger tore the roof off the place - firstly because you almost can't recognize him - but man, everyone said he was getting in some pretty big shoes with the Joker role, and you all know how I feel about the hugely overblown Jack Nicholson (mumble mumble, Easy Rider coasts on...), but the Jokers shoes have been filled, and then some. Jack should be embarrassed. One more word on Ledger: Nurses outfit. That's all I'm going to say, but you'll know it when you see it. Creepy and darkly funny at the same time.
But, all good things must come to an end, and this one wrapped it up about a half hour late, according to my watch - with the turning of the DA Harvey Dent (you'll see) the reflection of somebody's political views started flowing, and perhaps the most perfect sequel ever made slipped, and by the end of the movie, I had that feeling like after pigging out at McDonalds - it was tasty as you ate and ate and ate the cheap food, but near the end when you are belching up flavors from the first burger you had, you start feeling a little guilty for eating it all, and just wish you could go back to the first burger again and leave it at that. 4 out of 5 toes. Story line suffers. Ledger for supporting Oscar, and not just 'cause he's dead...

Bragging about how cool I am...

Did you all know out there in the Blog O Speer that I, Casey the Speer, really am a critic?
My undergrad degree emphasized critical theory in movie mediums. I mainly studied horror, but the critical theory covered much of literature, classics and modern, as well as the horror. So when I say something is crap - you can take that to the bank, baby! Not really, the first thing they teach you is that everything is subjective to the audience's preconcieved mindset, so to combat that, there are 5 prongs that I like to use to judge a piece of written work (Yes, movies are written too. Otherwise how would Morgan Freeman know what to say in the voice over?): I have started thinking of them as toes - you need all of them to walk and run correctly, so for a work to stand on it's own it doesn't necessarily have to have all of the toes - but it better have the little toe, which, believe it or not, if you don't have, you're not standing on your own. In my case it is the combination of all of the other elements in a factor that I call "entertaining", which is a little subjective, but sometimes one of the other elements is so distracting it does not allow the viewer or reader to fully enjoy the point of the work. So;
1. Is the movie entertaining? that is the #1 job of any work. If it doesn't do it, why bother?
2. Is the story solid? does it fit in or does something seem out of place or unrealistic for the framing or setting? Wild Wild West does actually work in my opinion, always has.
3. Are the characters believable? Because any story is really about the characters and our reactions to them.
4. Is dialogue solid? Keanu Reeves massacres this in every movie since Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. "Whoa!, like, that was gnarly, dude" he says to Sandra Bullock on the bus in Speed.
5. Does the work move along set norms, or change and break through them successfully or not? Think of Silence of the Lambs with Jodie and Sir Anthony reversed with Jodie being the psycho. Would it work? These formulas for stories have been around since the days of Plato. There are very few that do break through the norms. Million Dollar Baby in my opinion, does, not just because of the girl boxer, but because it uses the vehicle of the girl boxer to move the story line to dealing with euthanasia in a very powerful way - That said, Shakespeare's Hamlet also deals with it..with more traditional point of view (To be or not to be...). Both works work, but take the more recent movie PU-239. It is the story of a guy that is trying to get money for his family before he dies from his exposure to radiation in Russia. He fails and it threw the train off the tracks. There is a snippet at the end that fixes it, but the set norms are broken with the guy's failure in my opinion, fails this #5 test because it tries to break through norms we have but fails.

So there you have it. Speero's 5 prong test. Agree with me, or be wrong...

The Bucket List

Okay, so by now you are probably expecting that if I mention a movie online, it is to bash it.

Let's just say you are right. Until I see one that competes with Forrest Gump or No Country for Old Men, I will continue to alert you to the deficiencies in our films.



The following is my review of the DVD movie ( because we are too poor to see it in the theatres)The Bucket List starring two old guys, by Casey Speer:

Basic storyline: Two old guys find out they're dying and try to live out a list of things they want to do before they die. Along the way, they become chums. that's it.

The movie wasn't bad. I had preconcieved notions that it too would be a baby-boomer pandering "I'm gonna live forever even though I am the walking dead" movie, and it was, but it had a moment or two of humor, generally dealing with Jack Nicholson's character, which is apparently the only character he can play since Easy Rider; the cranky old rich guy that mumbles out witty one liners and grunts a little. Now, that moment or two was truly that, a moment or two.

Now the bashing part: Horrible backdrops. I mean horrible. Every location was a perfect sunny day with a few clouds and a pink glow over everything. That is not reality, (especially when you only have a little while to live) - The reality would be sitting in Giza while a terrific windstorm blew sand in your eyes until your own tears made the sand harden into concrete in the 200 degree winds, all the while with vendors in your face offering to sell you a tour of the pyramids saying "you want tour, you want tour, you want tour" forever. Anyway, the scenery was really fake looking to me, which I am sure it was. But, you're right, that is not really the point of the movie.
What ended up getting to me the most has almost become a mainstream Hollywood staple: Morgan Freeman's voice over narration. It was great in Shawshank Redemption. It was acceptable in Million Dollar Baby. But it was also in War of the Worlds and March of the Penguins. Though it worked here, I simply wouldn't have used it, because it is being over used. "So...Billy Joe went on down to the train station....and there was the pocket watch his great granddad had given to him the day he was off to war....just off to the side of the stairs...it still looked the same...'cept for the dent that bullet made back in 1944..." It's just too cheesy now so it distracted from the whole movie when the voice over parts were on. (By the way i totally made that narration up.)

I would give the movie 3 of 5 toes - it can stand on it's own but at times seems a little soft and wobbly. Entertainment, character and story line are solid, at least...

Oregon Trip, 2 weeks later...

Our family Oregon trip was about two weeks ago. We went with G-Ma, Babs, Rusty, Glennmerica and Elowena and Adrianna. Babs rented a cute little house in Lincoln City on the beach that had a few stairs that went down onto the beach. Most days were much like being on a cruise ship, as in: Get up, eat. Get ready for day, eat. Go to beach or town, eat. Come home, eat. Nap, get up, eat. Go for walk, eat. Get ready for dinner, eat. Get ready for bed, eat etc... Some noteworthy events , aside from eating every 10 minutes, were the Oregon Coast Aquarium in Newport, Building sandcastles (Elowyn and Adrienne's first sandcastles ever!) We shopped at the outlet malls, Blew our own artisan glass floats, played catchphrase at sundown, Lester and I went running every morning, and rode our beachcruiser bikes actually on the beach (which was like riding in molasses) and we made everyone Beauford Stew (with fresh clams and not as fresh scallops - it was delish!).





Here is a picture of Ely Sue and the young gentleman who tutored her on how to blow her glass float...Elowyn found it particularly hot in the glass blowing studio...and I don't think it was because of the ovens!





Sandcastle building was the most enjoyable thing. Not because of the fact that you are helping a kid build their first sandcastle, but because of the destruction and mayhem that followed the building. Note the picture of Elowyn at the bottom of this post, standing proud and triumphant next to her city, named Elowyn city, what is not shown is what later ensued:

1. Kid next door approached with malicious intent (we questioned possible mental retardation, never to be comfirmed). After Lester screamed with all of her might from our second story bedroom window and he retreated (in his head thinking it was God yelling at him), we became aware of the vulnerability of our sandcastle not just to the ebb and flow of nature's tides, but the human element in the form of nasty little snot-nosed kids with unresolved issues of sandcastle envy.

2. Another kid from the other direction and female, much like the Exorcist girl, approached it to survey the land and what it would take to bring it to ruins, as our entire family watched from the picture windows of the house. We were relieved to watch her wander away, leaving it unharmed, only to have our hopes dashed as she quickly returned, runing upon it with a war cry and jumping, stopming, kicking and flouncing all over our creation. The only force able to stop her, was Adrienne, who in her distraught state ran out onto the deck and screamed "Leave our sandcastle alone!" at the top of her lungs. We received dirty looks from her parents for the rest of our stay. The feather that adourned our sandcastle was later found on HER sandcastle - which Lester and I promptly stomped on...

3. All that remained following the aforementioned episodes was a lone tower and two small trees and a partial moat, which were then peed on by no less than four dogs out on walks.

We do not know if we will go on to build sandcastles again, but that sandcastle will continue to live peacefully within our hearts.

Jet ride yesterday

Well, Casey went on his Russian Fighter Jet ride yesterday - and it made him sick for the rest of the day. The ride was purchased about a year ago, while Casey was tipsy at a charity auction and the Lester was too tipsy to tell him to stop bidding, and since the offer expired next week, he thought he should give it a shot (read: He knew he was going to be sick as a dog, and may even vomit in the guy's Russian jet (There are only 200 of them in private ownership, one is in SLC) so he put if off as long as he could.)

There is no way to accurately describe the feeling of G forces on the human body. Imagine being sucked into a black hole where even your nose is exerting almost unbearable pressure, then maintain that for a full minute. The most I felt was +4 (When I had "the stick" and was flying the sucker - it was all I could do to keep holding onto the stick! My arm that normally weighs about 16 pounds weighed 64 pounds.) - the plane is capable of +8 g's (so my arm woud have weighed 128 pounds - I couldn't have held on to the stick for the necessary time if that were the case). I suppose that over time the body would get used to the way fighter planes feel. And I can say that a full 24 hours afterward I am feeling quite fine, and wish I could go up again and do some more. Lester also wishes she could partake, but I guess we'll have to wait until we get liquored up again at a charity auction - oh, also having money again would also be required. Next week is Oregon - stay tuned!

Off for the summer!

Well, Casey here again...
My work has ended for the year and now I find myself looking for things to do around the house. For the past two falls, winters and springs, I have declared that I will finish writing my books. Last summer and so far, 3 official days into his one, I find that I will find anything to do other than write, which is ironic since I am writing this...My hair and beard grow longer and greyer but I..cannot...seem...to...get...the...motivation...to...begin...

here it is, the first blog -

Hi and Welcome to our blog! It is Casey here;

Since many of you have been asking exactly what we have been up to, we thought this may be a way to keep everyone in the loop without actually talking to them - a thing which both Les and I loathe. The world is a much better place through the written word.

The reason that this blog was finally created was because Lester and I only see about two or three movies in the theatre a year. A movie has to be "big screen" worthy, so just not any movie will do. Typically they are the blockbuster action flicks that we see on the screen, such as the prequels to Star Wars, Academy award nominees like Juno, etc... and, of course, the latest "Indiana Jones - Kingdom of the Crystal Skull". For a movie to provoke somebody to create a spot to critically, publicly critique a film, the film must be extraordinary.

In this case, extraordinarily crappy. Crappy in every way. We left the theatre (a cheap matinee on opening day) feeling robbed. Like all memorable movies, Lester and I talked it over for hours, even days after we viewed it. Except this time it was like "I have never seen such pandering to the aging baby boomer's money!" and "George and Steven sure aren't hungry anymore.". the movie also aided us as a married couple to improve our communication; we decided to ask if the other one is bored and wants to leave the movie halfway through.

So for all of these things, we nominate the new Indy Jones movie for the worst movie of the year so far, that we have viewed. 1 of 5 toes Dialogue was crisp and refreshing, at least.