Everyone poops. I knew that my newborn child would poop and I woud be responsible for said poop until she could be taught to take care of her own. I also knew that newborns had a strange beginning poop that resembles black roofing sealant called Meuconium (or spelled something like that). I was ready, and it came and went. Nonchalantly I went into babydom thinking that I had seen the worst as far as defecation is concerned.
Then the breastmilk came in...
As The Lester is sitting there nursing, little Nugget lets some gas fly. Only, it is so powerful to her 6 pound, 14 ounce body that her mouth becomes detached and she startles herself with her own internal jet pack. She jumps, with big eyes staring up at mom for some kind of explanation. This strikes us as funny, but later in the day, when I am changing her (mom feeds, I change. I chose to change rather than have the sore and chapped nipples that breastfeeding requires...), I lift her from mom to see yellow liquid matter pouring from the back of her diaper and over The Lester like some kind of demented and sick decanter from hell. Her diaper is filled with this horrible matter that is not poop but IS poop. It is the fecal matter that follows the roofing tar... an I have learned something once more.
